Man of Science, Pt. 2
The experiments continue.
Preface: Yes, I feel judged. Second post with a McDonalds taste test in a week. But
so please, withhold judgement. I’ve had a lot of sushi and lots of miso soup and lots of all the good stuff. Word.
Don’t walk. Run. Run to the closest McDonalds. Because you’re a bit man. And the bit never fails. And your laundry is going to be done in 25 minutes.
Follow what Apple Maps says. Uh oh. That’s the side of the building. Thanks a lot, Steve. Eventually find the entrance. It’s a mall. This is interesting, because you’ve never been to a mall in Japan.
Japan Mall Review: it’s like America, but with more bike stores.
Follow the signs to the food court. A gaggle of selections beg for your attention, but the golden arches stay silent. They need not say a word. They already have you enraptured, hypnotized, leading you to the counter.
You read the menu, slowly, like a child. Your WPM for reading ain’t bad, but lord knows it ain’t good either. “A chicken teriyaki sandwich. Splendid,” you mutter to yourself. The nuggets as well. Again, a man of science needs an expansive sample size.
You approach the counter, ordering in mediocre Japanese, asking for the Teriyaki Chicken Filet Set. Fries are a must.
Set = Combo.
You order the 5 count nuggets as well. Yes, the side menu nuggets. I need not two meals my good sir. You don’t actually say that. He asks you a question. You don’t understand. He asks again. Still, nope. You lean in closer.
“Barbecue sauce?”
Ah, yes. Sorry. Yes please. Drink? Sprite. Of course.
Your total comes to ¥680. That’s weird. You ordered the set. It should be more than that. Your fears come true. They call your number. A fry-less wasteland of a tray. Despicable.
You set your tray down to order the fries. You feel the eyes on the back of your skull as you return to the counter once more. “American,” they probably think. But probably they aren’t thinking that. They’re eating. No one is looking at you, Jacob. They don’t care.
The fries come out in a jiffy, cause the Fry Distribution Center (FDC) is right next to the counter. It's like farm to table, except not like that at all.
Finally, you begin.
Japanese McNuggets review:
Now, don’t think of what I’m about to say in a sexual light. It’s not. But, I’ve had my mouth around quite a few nuggets in my time. And I can assure you, Japanese nuggets have more nugget per nugget. A thicker nugget. It’s great. Feels like the way its supposed to be. Each nugget is no longer a treat. It’s a snack. And you enjoy.
Rating: 7/10
Fries:
They’re McDonalds fries.
8.5/10
Chicken Teriyaki Filet Sandwich:
Wet ass sandwich, hella sauce. Feels like home because the presentation isn’t great. After my first bite I remembered that I’m not a huge fan of Teriyaki sauce, but it was tasty nonetheless. Another LOL moment (for those who don’t understand, reference the McDonalds section of this previous post). A few bites in revealed what I can only assume was mayo. My teachers made sure that I knew that Japanese mayo is not american mayo. It’s different. It’s “mayonesu.” I could not tell you what the actual difference is.
Rating: 6.5/10
Overall rating: 7/10
Now here’s my rant. I was told by sources close to me (Toan) that McDonalds in Japan is better. And overall, yes, I would agree with that. But I don’t go to McDonalds for the taste. I don’t go for the presentation. I go for another, more ethereal thing: munchability. I go cause I know I can drop coin on hella food and probably feel like shit later. But that’s the Mickeydees way. (Note: watch this video). So far, do McDonalds in Japan hold up to this standard?
Absolutely.
‘Til the next round of samples, Man of Science, Clipper Mist, out.
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